(Note: this was our 10,000th post! And a good one it was.)
BRITTANY: I don’t have a date. I’m just going to dance. And then all your dates are going to ignore you and come dance with me, so your dates are really my dates.
QUINN: What the hell are we going to do? If we go to our cheerleading competition, then we miss the half-time show, and we’re out of glee club. I’m torn.
SANTANA: Well, I’m not.
BRITTANY: I’m Brittany.
A moment I wake up
Before I put on my make-up
I say a little prayer for you…
—
(requested by rachkhoo)
Brittany - I’m A Slave 4 U (requested by jenski22)
MALL SANTA: Ho ho ho. What’s your name?
BRITTANY: Brittany. You’ve gotten really tan.
MALL SANTA: That’s because at the north pole there’s a hole in the ozone.
BRITTANY: Santa?
SUE: Why, Brittany! What are you doing here?
BRITTANY: I’m bringing a gift to put under the tree for the homeless kids. It’s a dollhouse. At least their dolls won’t be homeless.
ARTIE: It’s called a ReWalk. Some guy in Israel invented it. I can’t use it all the time, but… check me out!
QUINN: Where did you get it?
BRITTANY: We went home and it was sitting under my Christmas tree.
SAM: How the hell did you afford that thing?
BRITTANY: I didn’t buy it. I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.
ARTIE: I assumed her dad bought it for me, but he has no idea where it came from. He went to take a long poop and when he came back it was there.
RACHEL: So if no one we know bought it for you, then…
BRITTANY: Santa brought it.
BRITTANY: I didn’t cheat on you. I did something much worse. I lost your magic comb. I don’t know what happened - I had it in my pocket, and then I went to motocross practice, and then when I left it was gone. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you - I was so ashamed. That magic comb was our only chance of winning, the only thing keeping me from totally screwing it up. I didn’t want to let you down, Artie.
ARTIE: That wasn’t a magic comb. I just found it on the floor and ran into you on the way to tossing it in the trash.
BRITTANY: And you let me comb my hair with it?
ARTIE: You don’t need a magic comb. You’re magic, Brittany, the way you move. And I just should’ve told you that in the first place, and I’m sorry.
BRITTANY: When I’m out there dancing today, it won’t be for the team, or for the crowd. It’ll be for you.
TINA: I’m confused. Are you and Artie officially dating now?
BRITTANY: Deal with it. When you guys fooled around, did he ever like, just lie there?
